Rebecca's Project

As we hang the ornament on the Christmas tree this year, Rebecca would be out of our home, living on her own for the first time. The toddler we watched in our mind's eye would have skinned her last knee learning to ride a bicycle, danced her last pirouette in a dance recital, played her last musical note in the high school band, and said goodbye to all her friends she went away at college. She would be reveling in the excitement of her first job as she begins her new career, and perhaps be making plans to marry her one true love.

The tears flow as we hang this ornament on the tree for the twenty-third time. It is a bittersweet moment as this ornament that simply says, "Baby's First Christmas" is hung on the tree next to its twin ornament. For you see, twenty-three years ago when it was first placed on our Christmas tree, my wife and I were living in Kansas City while I was finishing my schooling and she was working as a nurse in a downtown hospital. We had learned in October that we were expecting our first child. Later in November, we discovered she was carrying twin girls. What joy filled our lives at that moment, twins!

While we lived in Kansas City, we spent much of our time wandering around in the shopping mall. The first Saturday of December we stumbled across the two matching Christmas ornaments that now grace our holiday tree every year. We rushed home, put up the Christmas tree, and carefully placed the two new ornaments front and center on our tree. During that holiday season, visions of our twin girls hanging their own ornaments on future Christmas trees danced through our heads as we dreamed of what the future would hold for them.

Throughout the pregnancy my wife had battled morning sickness. The week before Christmas the morning sickness became much more intense. Christmas came and we celebrated the joy of the season with our families. When we returned to Kansas City following Christmas, the morning sickness had not gotten any easier. The doctor's concern at the severity of the morning sickness this late in the pregnancy prompted another ultrasound. Our joy turned to sorrow. One of the twins had died, and her death was causing my wife's nausea. There was concern that the toxins being released could cause damage to the surviving twin, but nothing could be done but wait and see.

We named the girls Anne Elizabeth and Rebecca Sue. For us, Rebecca would always be for us the dream of what might have been. A child loved, anticipated, cherished, but never cradled, never cuddled. Five months later Anne was born - healthy in every way. And through all the joy of that birth, there was the bittersweet reminder of what might have been. As the years have passed, we have watched Anne become a beautiful young woman. We have watched her through dancing lessons, first dates, high school proms, two graduations and buying her first home. All the time feeling the shadow of another, Rebecca, who, had God's plan been different, would have been experiencing the same life passages.

Recently, my wife and I had the opportunity to hear Richard Paul Evans, the author of one of our favorite Christmas stories, "The Christmas Box", share the remarkable story of how this Christmas story was laid upon his heart. The story relays the tale of an elderly widow's grief for a lost child. The symbol of this widow's grief is an angel statue that she and her husband had placed at the grave of their daughter. Thousands of people have been moved by the story of this widow and have shared in her experience of losing a child. So many couples have lost children and lost the hopes and dreams they had envisioned in their minds. All of these children were loved, anticipated, cherished, but never cradled, never cuddled.

Through the years our funeral home has had the opportunity to assist many young families who have been devastated by the tragic loss of a child and the hopes and dreams that have been shattered as a result of that loss. Many more families have lost children so early in their development that there was nothing for them to bury, no place for them to go to remember, to mourn their loss.

My wife and I feel called this year to make a difference and together with the staff of our funeral home we plan to launch Rebecca's Project. Through Rebecca's Project, it is our hope and dream to work with The Christmas Box House International to place an angel statue in the baby section of Oakwood Cemetery in Pella. The statue will provide parents of miscarriages and stillbirths something that they have never been able to have, a place to go and remember.

The Christmas Box Angel Statue was introduced to the world in the book The Christmas Box, a worldwide bestseller and hit television movie by author Richard Paul Evans. In the book, a woman mourns the loss of her child at the base of an angel monument. Though the story is mostly fiction, the angel monument once existed but is speculated to have been destroyed. The new angel statue was commissioned by Richard Paul Evans, in response to reports that grieving parents were seeking out the angel as a place to grieve and heal.

The first monument was dedicated on December 6, 1994-corresponding with the date of the child's death in The Christmas Box (Coincidentally, Dec. 6th is celebrated in many parts of the world as Children's Day). The sculpture is the creation of a father and son from Salt Lake City, Utah, Ortho and Jared Fairbanks, and modeled according to the description in Evans' book. If you look closely you can find the word "hope" on the angel's right wing. Since 1994, sixty of these statues have been placed throughout the world. The statue in Oakwood Cemetery will be the first of these statues placed in Iowa.

We are encouraging everyone to read Richard Paul Evan's Book, "The Christmas Box" this holiday season. A fund is being established to raise the funds necessary to place the statue in Oakwood Cemetery in Pella. Contribution may be made to: Rebecca's Project, c/o Garden Chapel Funeral Home, 1301 Main Street, Pella, Iowa 50219.